Posts Tagged ‘Shamanism’

Ma’at on the Waters of Nun

June 13, 2013

I have been profoundly drawn to Kemetic (ancient Egyptian) knowledge in recent months. I had very little pull in this direction until Set-Suteka began speaking to me as my guide, with the exception of the truths revealed by reading The Western Lands, by William S. Burroughs.

Previously I had no key to the inner meaning of Kemetic thought. It was just a blur of strange symbols and random ideas, but I am feeling like I can begin to see the underlying knowledge and experiences which informed those symbols and expressions.

The Music is my greatest guide, and in the truest sense a part of my self. The music is the harmonious voices of each world in existence. Even a world out of balance sends a voice into the Music. When that voice returns to its own world it has been tempered and healed by the wisdom of all other worlds, so that it can guide its home along its true path. Learning about the oldest Kemetic origin and cosmology stories has taught me something very important about the limits of the Music, and by so doing has helped me to see it more clearly. The Music is almost synonymous with Ma’at, a concept and personification of truth, harmony and justice. In kemetic thought Ma’at is the bedrock of the created world, that even the solar creators beings stand upon, but Ma’at did not come first. First there were the Waters of Nun, or the abyss, the formless being from which all else arises, including the creators. Imbalance within the waters gave rise to the creators, and in turn their creation gave rise to Ma’at, the higher harmony of creation and living beings. The Waters of Nun persist. Non-being is always present, surrounding the created world. It is not evil, except when non-being erodes and infects the created world in the visage of Apep the water serpent. Ma’at is not a part of the Waters of Nun, as Ma’at is a part of created worlds. By this I do not mean that Ma’at or the Music are limited to worlds of physical form and matter, but that they only have meaning within the context of living, ordered reality, physical and non-physical that enfolds us.

I have for many years seen the forms of different worlds. I see them from within, as we experience life in this reality and I see them from outside, as beings such as Raven’s Eye have taught me to see. I see the outside of a world as threads of light bound into what my mind can only know as a sphere that floats within the infinite and indefinite abyss. Each thread of light is part of a law, or a contract that binds the energy of that reality into the self experiencing forms and natures that it contains. There are continua that connect and flow between these spheres of existence, but that is a vision for another time. The Music reverberates between the spheres, but I see so clearly now that it cannot ever be separated from them, just as Ma’at cannot be separated from the created world.

Protection: Physical Pain in the Place of Spiritual Infestation

May 30, 2012

I am often told that I am protected by many spirits, beings and layers of energy at all times. I think this is true because I feel them there at this point in my life and looking back I can see the ways in which I have been favored and cared for. In the past I had great difficulty accepting the idea that I had this kind of protection in my life for several reasons, the most prominent among them being that I have been in physical pain for much of my life. Other reasons include my sensitivity to various physicalities, such as light, chemicals, sound, crowds, other peoples emotions, etc., but the pain has been the most irreconcilable for me. How could I be so protected and loved if I have been subjected to such pain?

The answers to this question has become clearer to me recently. I say answers intentionally because there is no one answer that explains or covers every situation that I am trying to address. I will talk about several of those answers, but never all.

I experience physical pain and discomfort in place of the influence and infestation of negative beings and forces. Some of these beings and forces are internally present because of my spiritual and family history. They are inherited as a debt that must be ended. Some of these beings and forces I will encounter externally in my daily life and spiritual journey.

The negative beings and influences that manifest from spiritual and family karma or debt are very insidious on Earth because humans lose their memories while they are here. If a human can even realize they are being hurt or manipulated by something that is not part of them there is still the hurtle of finding the internal hook, or history that allows these beings and forces to attach to the human being.

Before entering my current life, I think I chose that instead of directly experiencing the control, manipulation and psychic invasion of negative forces, I would experience them as physical pain. This pain would allow me to know that something was wrong, but would also protect me from being possessed, controlled or damaged. I do not think that I can be without pain and still clearly perceive what I need to be doing at this stage in my development. The volume on that signal cannot yet be adjusted. If it was silenced I could not access the negative realms that must be healed within me and my family.

This realization has the strange consequence of making me thankful that I only experience the physical pain. I have learned that physical pain is so transitory. The kind of emotional and mental suffering that these negative forces create is unimaginably more destructive, both for the individual who experiences them and for those closest to that person.

Appointments Page

May 13, 2012

I have a new Appointments Page to the top right of this screen. I’ve had an ad with the same text on this blog for a long time, but I’ve never put it on the front page before.

I’m returning to regular appointments with clients after a sabbatical. I’ve already had a number of people contact me, but it seems right to show the kind of work I’m doing and let them know they can seek me out if they wish.

The Apocryphal and the Authentic

December 22, 2011

I have learned more about the nature of my personal reality and potential through fiction and games than I have through genuine mystical texts or the accounts of healers. I have learned even more by living and expressing those truths. I work with and help human beings who have been terribly abused and who have suffered greatly. There is an ego need that my nature and what I do be authentic and pure, not frivolous or trivial, but I have never been able to find the reality of those ideas. To me the inventions of children bear the same weight as the words of ancient sages. I find truth or discard them as they speak to me. Things that are not, that cannot be literally true have the power to change the world. Not all of these stories are lies, or just playing with words. Some of them speak to us. Make us uncomfortable because somewhere in the depths we know that they are true at the same time that we know they could not be. They have not simply the power of lies, or illusions, but the power of transformation.

Jesse Moynihan, Cartographer of the Jacked Up Realm of the Open Spiritual Journey

December 9, 2011

There are elements of the spiritual journey that most people don’t like talking about, like how it can be really, really messed up and damaged and sexual, at the same time as being transcendent and sacred.

Jesse Moynihan is not most people. He makes a comic called Forming. It resonates with my very iconoclastic and apocryphal experiences. If you like what I write then you should probably give it a shot. Take a look:

Four Threads

June 29, 2011

I have a very strong desire to provide background and context for everything I say about the energetic or stranger side of my life, but acknowledging my humanity and my own weaknesses, providing that context and background takes an amount of energy and focus that I just don’t have right now, and that I am not likely to have any time in the near future. With that being said, my purpose in this post is to provide basic information about some things I feel that I need to talk about, primarily my genetic make up and some physical or material events that might have affected it.

There are at least four threads that run through my physical and energy bodies in this world. I’m sure that there are more, but I don’t know about them and they may not be as influential. I’ve talked about two of these threads as being human and reptilian. The other two are insectile and goblin. These threads are a mixed blessing at best. I see and understand the world in ways distinct from those of the beings around me, but these threads clash, within my body and my being.

I wrote about what I mean by reptilian previously here:

When I say insectile I mean the mantis like beings that UFO abducties and experiencers occasionally refer to. I have no way of speaking about the nature of every beings that appears in this way, but the ones that I have energetically interacted with most and seem connected to me are not very nice and seem defined by an obsessive pursuit of personal flawlessness. This leads to a lack of compassion or empathy for other beings and themselves.

When I say goblin I mean a variety of what I can only refer to as fairy. I found a description from the Wikipedia entry on goblins, of all places, that I feel sums up what I mean very clearly: “In “The Goblin Field” (Moldova), Goblins were described as 2-3 feet tall, thin and brown. Most were bald and “if there were females among the group they could not be distinguished from the males”. They seemed to exist in two realms, one physical and one spirit. They were fiercely loyal and allied with particular sorcerer or witch tribes, whom they protected and served as an equally allied tribe rather than servants or slaves. “This perception might seem a bit strange to any not accustomed to the goblin outlook” because the goblins often did what might be considered slave work for very little in return. They could be called by an allied individual or group, summoned by spell, or called to bargain at particular places by individuals or groups not known to them. Because of their power they were much sought after, but because of the corruption of mankind, rarely found. Crossing them was a thing to avoid as they had refined a grudge to a fine art. They could be fierce and mind-numbingly frightening, and only the hardiest of souls were sent to strike a bargain with them. However they had a side which few ever saw, which was their great love for those who were able to create an understanding and friendship with them. At the passing of such a person, they would treat the body with proper respect and then quietly weep.”

I feel the need to give other human beings the opportunity to open their minds to this, for their own wellbeing as much as for my own peace. I think that many, many people have a more diverse genetic background than they are aware of. I have been forced through my energy work to confront these aspects of my being within my self and my family, or suffer by the lack of that self knowledge. A brief example of this would be that recently more of my goblin DNA was activated so that I could create something that derives from their way of relating to existence. However, adjusting to this activation was mentally and physically painful because reptilian-human hybrid DNA and goblin DNA are not compatible. My mother and I spoke and realized we were having the same symptoms. I told her about the Goblin DNA activation and the rest came out by process of her surrogating and both of us asking questions of the beings that spoke through her, which are always related to the problems we are experiencing. We then identified what needed to be changed to allow compatibility and asked our guides to guide our energies in making those changes.

I think that I am a result of a natural lineage of human-nonhuman DNA that may also have been experimented upon to enhance the quantity and diversity of that non-human DNA. I was conceived via in vitro fertilization at the Hallam Medical Centre (now part of the London Women’s Clinic) in London, England, cir. 1986-87. I don’t have any physical evidence or knowledge of any illicit activities or strange events occurring at that facility during that time or any other, but given everything I have read and learned over the last five years I consider it a possibility that something was done to my parents genetic material as it was used to create me.

I do not want anyone to believe what I have written here. It would be unreasonable for another person to think what I am saying is true without either physical evidence or traversing the energetic experiences and personal health problems witch have brought me to the point where I can say these things with a straight face. At most I hope that my intentions will be considered sincere. In an ideal world I would relate the experiences that have brought me to this point in detail, but they flow in a way that escapes the written word. Pinning them down into narrative has always been an awkward, time consuming and draining task that I was never satisfied with at my best and that is certainly beyond me at the present.

I hope that there is something that others can take from what I am relating, more than an unused oddity.

Menace, Transformation and Hope

May 7, 2011

There is a comic that I found several months ago that in many senses perfectly encapsulates the feeling or the tone of many experiences like shamanism, contact and abduction. I’ve refrained from posting or linking to it because one of its frankest aspects, one of the ways it most accurately portrays the feelings that I have and that I see in others, is the terror, confusion and pain of the experience. It’s so easy to get caught up in those feelings that I choose not to feed into them, but the truth is that, along with everything else I talk about, those feelings have been my constant companions and I need to talk about that. I don’t need to invest them with power, or make them into something more than what they are, but to see them with clarity and to articulate them only as what they are.

This is just a window, nothing more. When you get the message and feel what it means, you don’t need to hold onto it anymore.

I don’t know who the creator of this comic is. The site I got it from did not have a credit and it was too large to put into Tineye. If you know who made it please leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

Where Home Is

January 19, 2011

I don’t know why, but I’m really being asked to write this now.

I need to be in Nova Scotia. I’ve known that and felt that for several years now. There are other places in the world where I might fit in better. Sometimes I look longingly at Portland Oregon, but I need to be here. It’s overwhelming.

The reason I’m given for this is that I agreed to be here and to play an important role, not in human affairs particularly, but in the energy function of this region and in keeping it safe. I have a map of the province inside my head and I can live anywhere on that map, but not any farther. Everywhere on the map is covered by a dome of energy which keeps it safe and hidden from forces that would hurt this place. It feels like I’m part of the dome, like my energy extends out into it.

Be a Lens and Light Will Come

January 2, 2011

Chris: You don’t give me much to hang onto, you know.

Guides: Because what you do must come from a place so deep within you that it can never be taken away.

Imagine: You open your eyes to one who is trapped in suffering. You move to help them. It comes as easily as the beating of your heart and the sigh of your breath. Your hands touch their chains and they begin to dissolve like wet tissue. Perfect awareness without thought, each action flowing, spontaneous. Their wounds are next. Lesions are washed and healed with light. Pathogens are drawn out and taken into custody. Curses are ended. Karma is healed. Their minds and memories restored to them. Their emotional trauma washed and allowed to heal. Their capacity for joy and the connection to the source of their being returned. Open a window to a place of safety and freedom beyond the reach of those who would harm them, and allow them, their family and friends to go there.

Flow through this until it is part of you. Each time it is different you will be different. Listen. Be a lens and light will come.

Anything you remember will be taken from you. You only get to keep what you become.

The Borderzone, Symbols Now and Then

November 3, 2010

If you would enjoy a view into the distinction between the living heart of a spiritual experience and the accretted shell of religious signs, symbols and beliefs, then consider reading Borderzone author Arsen Darnay’s recent post on the Primeval Forestry of Symbols.

Please read the following excerpt in mind of my own initiatory experiences of being attacked and pulled apart, as well as in mind of various abduction experiences that include frightening medical experimentation, implants and the like.

“…Mircea Eliade, an influential twentieth century historian of religion, had written a definitive study titled Shamanism. I found the book and took a new look. Soon it all came rushing back. Eliade’s is an exhaustive description of the way prehistoric wise men (shamans, medicine men, witch doctors, sorcerers) were initiated and how they practiced their craft. Description—not explanation. Eliade’s book, therefore, rapidly causes the eyes to glaze over. We learn that—

Such men (only a few were women) underwent death and rebirth. Demons, gods, or spirits killed and disemboweled them and then replaced their ordinary organs with new and more perfect ones; the higher beings placed magical bones, stones, or crystals into the initiates’ skulls or bodies. They brought the initiates back to life. Then these people, recovering, discovered that they’d gained what we’d call paranormal powers of healing, precognition, sight-at-distance, mind-reading, and so on and so forth.

To modern ears the descriptions sound so fantastic, weird, and brutal that dismissing them outright as primitive fantasy and superstition, all based on rude ritual, comes naturally. No temptation arises in most casual readers to imagine that these accounts could possibly reference real experiences or events. What did strike Eliade forcefully was the uniformity of these descriptions (with minor variations) from culture to culture and from all across the world, including Australia, which landmass had long been out of contact with the majority even of prehistoric humanity.”