Posts Tagged ‘Healing’

Protection: Physical Pain in the Place of Spiritual Infestation

May 30, 2012

I am often told that I am protected by many spirits, beings and layers of energy at all times. I think this is true because I feel them there at this point in my life and looking back I can see the ways in which I have been favored and cared for. In the past I had great difficulty accepting the idea that I had this kind of protection in my life for several reasons, the most prominent among them being that I have been in physical pain for much of my life. Other reasons include my sensitivity to various physicalities, such as light, chemicals, sound, crowds, other peoples emotions, etc., but the pain has been the most irreconcilable for me. How could I be so protected and loved if I have been subjected to such pain?

The answers to this question has become clearer to me recently. I say answers intentionally because there is no one answer that explains or covers every situation that I am trying to address. I will talk about several of those answers, but never all.

I experience physical pain and discomfort in place of the influence and infestation of negative beings and forces. Some of these beings and forces are internally present because of my spiritual and family history. They are inherited as a debt that must be ended. Some of these beings and forces I will encounter externally in my daily life and spiritual journey.

The negative beings and influences that manifest from spiritual and family karma or debt are very insidious on Earth because humans lose their memories while they are here. If a human can even realize they are being hurt or manipulated by something that is not part of them there is still the hurtle of finding the internal hook, or history that allows these beings and forces to attach to the human being.

Before entering my current life, I think I chose that instead of directly experiencing the control, manipulation and psychic invasion of negative forces, I would experience them as physical pain. This pain would allow me to know that something was wrong, but would also protect me from being possessed, controlled or damaged. I do not think that I can be without pain and still clearly perceive what I need to be doing at this stage in my development. The volume on that signal cannot yet be adjusted. If it was silenced I could not access the negative realms that must be healed within me and my family.

This realization has the strange consequence of making me thankful that I only experience the physical pain. I have learned that physical pain is so transitory. The kind of emotional and mental suffering that these negative forces create is unimaginably more destructive, both for the individual who experiences them and for those closest to that person.

The Apocryphal and the Authentic

December 22, 2011

I have learned more about the nature of my personal reality and potential through fiction and games than I have through genuine mystical texts or the accounts of healers. I have learned even more by living and expressing those truths. I work with and help human beings who have been terribly abused and who have suffered greatly. There is an ego need that my nature and what I do be authentic and pure, not frivolous or trivial, but I have never been able to find the reality of those ideas. To me the inventions of children bear the same weight as the words of ancient sages. I find truth or discard them as they speak to me. Things that are not, that cannot be literally true have the power to change the world. Not all of these stories are lies, or just playing with words. Some of them speak to us. Make us uncomfortable because somewhere in the depths we know that they are true at the same time that we know they could not be. They have not simply the power of lies, or illusions, but the power of transformation.

Jesse Moynihan, Cartographer of the Jacked Up Realm of the Open Spiritual Journey

December 9, 2011

There are elements of the spiritual journey that most people don’t like talking about, like how it can be really, really messed up and damaged and sexual, at the same time as being transcendent and sacred.

Jesse Moynihan is not most people. He makes a comic called Forming. It resonates with my very iconoclastic and apocryphal experiences. If you like what I write then you should probably give it a shot. Take a look:

Discourse on the Lateral and Trans-rational Cycle Breaking of Psychic Abuse and Violence Reverberations

November 9, 2011

It is necessary for the abuser to convince either his victims and or the matrix of his society that his actions are natural and just, otherwise he and they would immediately be rejected and quashed. The abuser most frequently achieves this conviction by the projection of a false image or narrative structure.

“It’s your fault this is happening. You did something bad. You wanted this and you still do want this. You enjoy this.”

This false image and narrative structure projection is most effective when it originates at a subconscious level. This has both benefit of absolving the abuser’s rational ego structure of guilt and of employing the psychic and emotive subtle energies in reworking perception and reality around the abuser.

It should be noted that the victim/s are usually complicit through some mixing of attractive and repulsive forces or by some unknown absence of internal awareness. On the animal level violence of all kinds tends to generate the response of escape or destruction. On the psychic level violence creates reverberations and frequencies that draw attention and easily form into self sustaining feedback loops. Complete innocence in victim and bystander alike is vanishingly rare. This fact cannot be allowed to induce one to identify with the abuser’s false projection, or psycho-trope. Doing so will allow your reality framework to be subsumed by the abuser’s, making you an implicit extension of their will, and worse yet, obscuring the clarity of your own perception and purpose. Similarly identifying with the victim locks you into the narrative structure of the conflict. This is a safer position in general, but limits ones options for radical lateral and trans-rational action to break the psychic feedback cycle of violent reverberations.

The mixing of attractive and repulsive forces is of central importance to understanding the abuse cycle. Abuse in its pure form requires entrapment for the prolonged effects to take hold. External entrapment is sufficient, but internal entrapment is necessary for full effect. Merely external entrapment of the human form, for example, requires the use of various torture methodologies to achieve the same level of dimension spanning self abnegation that internal entrapment achieves with far less energy expenditure. Internal entrapment depends upon the entanglement of polar oppositional forces and their subsequent confusion with and for one another. The primary example of this exchange is between love and pain, love being the attractive and pain being the repulsive. Complete entrapment depends on the victim coming to believe that these oppositional forces are the same, or of a kind to the point where one cannot be accepted without the other. This is a reality tuning function and prolongs the agony and abnegation-of-self beyond any conceivable physical manifestation.

The abnegation of self is the purest purpose of all abuse. Through violence and entrapment the undesirable elements of the self are suppressed and the desired elements can then be created in the blank space that is left. This concept can most easily be revealed in the conflict between self and pornography. We must be absolutely clear that pornography in this context has nothing to do with human sexual proclivities necessarily. In its pure form pornography is merely the subtraction of genuinely perceived reality with a false, stimulating and evocative image. Nature photography is the best example. An image bereft of smell, touch or meaning of place, disembodied and painless. With that distinction made we return to the self. The self is an ecosystem structure of cycling and semi-oppositional and semi-contained forces. It is an internal wetland, from the deep peat of the subconscious, flowing waters of the rational mind and the sunlight of the higher being and self. It is dirty, complicated, fragile, resilient and completely useless at being anything at all but what it is. This state of being is intolerable to control oriented forms. The metaphor of a physical ecosystem must be broken here because under physical law it cannot be self abnegating. The self under psychic law may be self abnegating and this is the ultimate abuse, to coerce a being into trying to destroy, or obliterate it’s own being, which stems from the source of all being and life and is the definition of sacred. It must be made clear that the physical body is not excluded from this process, but it is the merest point within the true image of the self.

Breaking the feedback cycle of violent reverberations is usually a transgressional and discordant act. Discordant against the harmonies and cadences that those reverberations of violence have created through time within the space in which they exist. The longer they are and the more entrenched the more discordant will be the process of cycle breaking. Lateral and trans-rational movement is advisable. Such movement is not possible for control oriented mind structures on the level in which the trans-rational act occurs. Agents of control within higher orders of frequency will still attempt interference, but their physical and lower order agents will be at a disadvantage.

You must never use violence in the attempt to break a psychic feedback cycle of violent reverberations. Violence can end physical entrapment, but until an internal jailbreak occurs under internal power, no freedom will be had. Transgression is not necessarily violence. Discord is not necessarily violence. In true form of the human condition each individual human interpenetrates and exists partially within hundreds of thousands of other beings and is in constant relational contact with all other human forms on Earth and other celestial and planetary forms. This is a consistent reality that is at odds with individual ego structures, which are carried within and around each of those individual human forms on Earth specifically. Transgression of that ego structure is not necessarily violence.

Those Who Have Been Hurt Will Hurt in Turn

October 13, 2011

Their choice is in the slow burn of continued suffering, or the sharp agony of swift release.

Will the pain they deliver be sent inward or outward? Their nature determines.

To free yourself will you see your pain written on another’s face or take an inner journey where only the Id can hear your cries?

Pain is as eternal as the soul, but changes just the same. Will you hide your’s in another’s flesh or weave it into gold in your hands.

Warrior Space

February 19, 2011

Where I come from, that is, where my energy body comes from, I am considered a warrior. It’s part of my energy body’s name, as best it can be translated: Sleeping Decadence Warrior. One who fights sleeping decadence. But I am not a warrior here incarnate. I am so blessedly weak here. Where I come from is peace and harmony and light. Being a warrior there is to shoot like a falling star into the darkness and to transduce light. The discipline is to stay within yourself through the darkness. To remain your true self, unconsumed.

Being a warrior on Earth is different because this is third chakra space. This is warrior space. Where I come from, if you fight you have already lost. You have lost yourself. On Earth, everything is a struggle. I am as I have always been, but to be a warrior in my home is to be a healing on Earth.

Radionics, Art and Consciousness

January 20, 2011

I’m very impressed by this interview over at Reality Sandwich:

The interview is with Duncan Laurie, author of “The Secret Art: A Brief History of Radionic Technology for the Creative Individual.” It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. It’s a very expansive and enlightening topic. I hope you’ll take a look.

Edit: Concurrent to reading the article I found this account of constructing a rather beautiful radionic device at Aetheric Art: Manifesting the Aether:

Different Kinds of Change

January 7, 2011

In the space of 24 hours I have been exposed to both of these stories. Their similarities are striking, as well as their differences. Please do not simplify. I do not advocate or admonish, but reading these words so close together has had an impact upon me and I feel the need to transmit that in some form.

These are the words of Mark Flaherty. He dealt with suicidal pain and emptiness through ayahuasca and a spiritual tranformation:

These are the words of Bill Zeller. He could not deal with the horrible pain that he had been subjected to and recently committed suicide:

The Healing of Shame

January 7, 2011

I once wrote that shame is the most destructive emotion. I said that because I have had to fight the shame of other beings, each of them feeling that they need to suffer endlessly, hurting others in the process. They need to suffer and to throw themselves to those who will help them suffer. They do this because the alternative is unbearable. To transcend your first unthinking emotional reaction, you genuinely need to process the event that created it. In the case of shame, that process is agony, and for most beings it is literally impossible without help.

It takes a tremendous focus of energy to maintain an open awareness through any intense emotional reaction. It so much easier to just ride along with it and follow the script behind your eyes. The moment you open your awareness and stop reacting, you have to feel everything anew with perfect clarity. All you want to do is close right back up. This process is hard enough when the shame is small, a mistake of daily life, but when the shame is large, the death of a loved one or a terrible act committed by or against that person, it becomes insurmountable for the individual. The shame can almost be thought of as a separate entity that tries to protect itself. It prevents the healing of the original event. It whispers into its host’s ear “I need to suffer. I need to be punished. If what happened is healed then I won’t be punished.” No healing of the original event may occur while this continues and until the original event is healed it will continue to hurt everyone it touches and everyone that they touch, not solely the one who seeks punish himself.

Inner and Outer Passages

November 22, 2010

The absence of form is a gateway for that which is beyond ourselves. Whether the miraculous or terrible comes through that gate is defined by the nature of the formlessness and by that which we bring with us into that void.

Noise and silence are merely the inside and outside of the formless. Their shades and hues, fractured and mingling scintillations create the outer passage.

We bring the inner passage with us, named in the secret history of our hidden moments.

When inner and outer become transparent, the passage is formed. The gate opened.

Through the passage comes what has always been there. Simply what is, if we allow it.