Posts Tagged ‘Consciousness’

The Analemma

June 25, 2012

Disturbances in the outward flow of events often reflect the invisible and imperceptible movement of our own being.

Note an outward constant in motion: The sun.

Note a set of fixed points in the continuum through which that constant cycles: A fixed time of day.

The result is the infinity sign of the analemma. A time lapse that reveals the sun’s relative position to the observer at the same time of day throughout the year. This outward sign does not reveal the motion of the sun. It reveals the motion of the Earth, to which we are oblivious by the fact of our intimacy and inseparability. The loop of the analemma is caused by the orbit of the Earth around the sun. The twist in that loop is caused by the tilted axis of our world as it orbits. By looking outside we have seen something that was invisible about ourselves. Inner and metaphysical truth are no different. The difficulty is in realizing that what we are truly observing is ourselves.

Memories of Making the Earth

June 12, 2012

I’ve written about memories that I have from other incarnated lifetimes. I haven’t written very much about my memories from between incarnated lifetimes.

I have very explicit memories of being involved with some aspects of forming the Earth. I was one of millions of other beings involved in the process. Some beings, like Raven’s Eye who is the Bowl of the World were involved in much higher level activities, like weaving entirely new timelines to guide the formation of the whole Earth system. I and my working group were involved in much more specific and limited activities.

Explaining exactly what we were doing can be challenging. There is a relationship between consciousness and the form taken by physical reality that is very difficult to describe in the modern mental context. Every individual consciousness is like a nucleus, or porthole, or a light in the darkness, around which the material universe is tuned in. The physical world is not an illusion any more than a building that you choose to enter is an illusion, even though it may prevent you from seeing the larger world. The physical world has reality outside of the the observer, but that reality is not the physical world as we perceive it as human beings. It is only a “physical” world in that we are experiencing it that way.

What I and my working group built as excarnate beings were the threads of potential that could manifest through the progressive densities of materialized personal experience. We worked in higher dimensional levels of non-physical existence, altering potential fields, time-lines, threads of connection and other more complicated structures so that the physical world could be felt and experienced in the way that it now is, more or less. There are many areas and refinements to the process that we didn’t have anything to do with, mostly relating to human psychology and interaction.

Our area of specialty was material system stability and persistence. I remember with strange emotion how difficult it was to get certain aspects of the system tuned correctly. Having the necessary form and diffusion of water was very difficult for some reason. Water moderates environmental, thermal and biological reactions, but getting it to behave with the necessary characteristics was a great achievement. Insuring a stable magnetic field around the planet was tremendously important, but less challenging.

One of our other works was to assure the deep rigidity of biological life on Earth. Other groups were working genetic evolution, morphic stability and the fundamentals of biosystems on Earth. We were concerned with preventing the equivalent of ecological cancer, or the advent of homogenizing swarms, to use a science fictional term. We did this by encouraging extreme precision in cellular reproduction and more complex life function. This would discourage the kind of rampant mutation that would be necessary in order to co-op the entire diversity of other life systems. Our work was necessary because of the explicitly mathematical nature of material Earth life. In the energy systems I am more accustomed to inhabiting it would not have been necessary. In those systems a being of a relatively more developed nature and understanding simply can’t be limited, controlled or influenced by force. A being of a relatively less developed nature can be influenced, but only within the parameters of what they will allow for themselves, knowingly or unknowingly. There are essentially no restrictions on form in those realms because there is almost nothing you can do to another being against its will or inherent nature. On Earth, however, this is not the case. If there were not deep restrictions on physical form we would be inundated by controlling and converting agents, biological, chemical and mechanical, even electrical. The level of stability necessary for the development of the desired incarnate psycho-spiritual attributes would be impossible. Everything would be changing, warping and continuously tearing itself apart. All it would take is one amoral and extremely clever being to bend the world to his will.

I find Earth’s physical limitations on form very onerous. I feel within myself the capacity to change form, psycho-spiritually from my past existences between incarnations and genetically from the ancestry of my current incarnation. I use this inner knowing very much when I am working with clients. I energetically become what I need to be in order to help them. Most people loose themselves if they try to do that, but I am accustomed to being formless. It allows me to enter other people’s realities while retaining the necessary potency to bring change and healing. This also my life more difficult because when I am tired a tend to revert to diffuse and formless state. I usually call that “needing to be a cloud for a while” and it makes being with other human beings very difficult.

I have become accepting of my physical limitations as I have remembered more of why they exist. An example would be the reason I was chosen to be part of the working group on material systems stability for part of the Earth project. I was incarnated several times previously to a different system that had been overrun by invasive and self transforming biological agents. Calling it a war wouldn’t really do it justice. Life was at war with itself. I incarnated as a being that had been created by one of the technologically advanced species of this world. I was part of a new species designed by them to survive in these new conditions, to help them fight and survive and, ultimately, to continue their culture and the concept of individual conscious intelligence into the future should their race perish. I incarnated several times as one of these “future guards” so that I could experience the entire arc in their history. I fought when we were new and things were terrible. It looked like the end of the world.

Our form was generally akin to a spider made of pale bone. We had distinct heads more than a spider and our legs attached to an oblong central body with no abdomen. The number of legs was actually variable. My strongest memories are of having four legs, but I know others had more. We had been grown from aquatic creatures very much like a sea squirt, and this was the central conceit of our design. Nothing outside of the thorax was alive. The only living tissue in our bodies was safely protected behind many layers of thick bone. Our limbs were operated by the pumping of hydraulic fluid. A giant mass of muscle in the thorax, much like a heart pumped this fluid through out the body to create movement. Our senses were limited by our extensive shells, but we did have sight, extremely good hearing, or at least sense of vibration, and something that passed for smell. Sight was achieved through light pipes. Crystalline tubes that lead from the head back to the central nervous system in the thorax (our brains were a genetic bequeath from our creators, to carry on their way of being should they become extinct). Vibration sense was conducted by chambers inside the central body filled with delicate fibers in fluid. Smell is the most alien sense. It was achieved by combination of small patches of chemical sensitive chromatiphors on the shell with light pipes that would carry their changing colors into the central nervous system. Any kind of direct chemical or nervous contact for smell as in humans would have provided a direct route of access for our enemies. I could go on about our biology, but I have conveyed the central point that our very way of being was defined by denying access to invasive controlling agents.

I incarnated to this culture at least three or four times to experience the full arc of the part of their history in which they would actively face invasive self transforming biological agents. I was there from the beginning, when everything was terror and it looked like the end of the world, right to the end when indeed the world had been burned to the ground, but no pure strains of the enemy remained and we and the few other races that had survived were the only real monsters left in the world.

Because I carried that history I was able to give the product of its experience in the Earth process.

Falling and Never Reaching the Ground

February 24, 2012

Logic, rationality, clarity and sight are lenses. Definite form is the necessity of each, containing both their revelations and their limitations. This applies from the realm of mathematics and formal logic to the realm of spirit and mysticism.

David Malone: “The problem is that today, some knowledge still feels too dangerous. Because our times are not so different to Cantor or Boltzmann or Gödel’s time. We too feel things we thought were solid, being challenged, feel our certainties slipping away, and so, as then, we still desperately want to cling to belief in certainty. It makes us feel safe.

At the end of this journey the question, I think we are left with, is actually the same as it was in Cantor and Boltzmann’s time. Are we grown up enough to live with uncertainties or will we repeat the mistakes of the twentieth century and pledge blind allegiance to yet another certainty.”

Young Journeys

October 24, 2011

I remember the exact moment I found the emptiness of all form and being. I was twelve and I had just looked up at my father and my dog, Radar. We were in the basement of my parent’s home. I saw them with exact clarity, without meaning or emotion. They were empty forms.

That moment was the product of a journey that I began a year before. I had realized that I experienced joy at things that I thought and felt were wrong. I chose to change myself. I would only express joy at that which I thought was actually good. These actions brought my attention to the nature of goodness and rightness. I had always felt them and tried to follow that feeling and knowing, but in the process of trying to pin them down they began to run through my fingers like sand. I was eventually brought to ultimate cases. I saw before me the perfect world that I might create by the destruction of the imperfect and flawed Christopher and his replacement by a perfect automaton who’s every action and thought might bring it into being. I was repulsed, both by that painless and perfect world and by the spiritless function I would become in trying to create it. Until that time in my life I had been symbolized by a blue sword with a fire and and edge that would only harm evil. When I could no longer find what goodness was I broke that sword. I found a new way. If I could not find goodness then I would find truth. I had seen the illusory nature of my emotions and self projections. I sought to end their influence over my being and my perceptions. That Journey brought me to that moment in my parent’s basement that is etched into my memory.

In the moment I looked at my father and my dog and felt nothing I realized that something had changed. I turned within myself and looked out into an endless void that contained all form devoid of meaning. I perceived its infinite nature and that it itself was devoid of truth. I turned from the void and looked back to where I had come. I saw the spectrum of all meaningful being in color, light, emotion, joy and pain. I realized that everything that I could ever care for lay behind me and that truth and beauty were held inside the fleeting fabric of meaning. My journey would be into the fold and weave of their infinite dimension and development, their subtlety and their refinement. Within this realization was another simpler lesson, that brute force, applied to consciousness or anything else, would only ever yield an extreme.

“And he rose from the endless sea to unleash the world upon itself.”

Image and Quote from Tyrus Peace’s phenomenal Not-Included.

Radionics, Art and Consciousness

January 20, 2011

I’m very impressed by this interview over at Reality Sandwich:

The interview is with Duncan Laurie, author of “The Secret Art: A Brief History of Radionic Technology for the Creative Individual.” It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. It’s a very expansive and enlightening topic. I hope you’ll take a look.

Edit: Concurrent to reading the article I found this account of constructing a rather beautiful radionic device at Aetheric Art: Manifesting the Aether:

Inner and Outer Passages

November 22, 2010

The absence of form is a gateway for that which is beyond ourselves. Whether the miraculous or terrible comes through that gate is defined by the nature of the formlessness and by that which we bring with us into that void.

Noise and silence are merely the inside and outside of the formless. Their shades and hues, fractured and mingling scintillations create the outer passage.

We bring the inner passage with us, named in the secret history of our hidden moments.

When inner and outer become transparent, the passage is formed. The gate opened.

Through the passage comes what has always been there. Simply what is, if we allow it.


August 6, 2010

When I say my body is like a house whereupon my consciousness dwells, I do not mean that we should take a wrecking ball to form and flesh, but instead unleash, open the bodily gates of our empathy and compassion to that form which we have said cannot feel.

Stepping Out of the Way

April 20, 2010

One of the harder things I am asked to do is to step out of the way. By this I mean to get my conscious mind and ego out of the way of the Music and the other beings and forces that are trying to help me. I’ve practiced a similar technique for many years as part of my shamanic and healing work, where it is essential to accurately hear non-physical beings and sense the condition of those you are working with. In that state you are clear and open, but keenly aware, directing your openness to your guides and those you are working with. However, there is a more pervasive and complete variety of this state, one which I have often experienced in my life and am experiencing again now with a much greater intensity. This is a completely unfocused state in which large amounts of information and energy can be imparted without the filter of my conscious mind. I only become aware of the content of this information and energy much later when it rises into conscious awareness, manifesting as inner knowing, knew kinds of energy medicine and perception, or occasionally as things I say or do that didn’t previously exist in my awareness before hand.

The hard part of this process is remaining in the unfocused state which allows access beyond conscious awareness, or I should say, remaining in the unfocused state for the long periods of time that are asked of me. Concurrently, entering and leaving this state of consciousness is not like flipping a switch. Remaining unfocused for long periods of time will have cumulative impact on my consciousness, meaning that it will take an amount of time and rest for me to return to the state in which I am best able to deal with physical life. Being unaware of the content that is being transfered also makes it psychologically more difficult to justify the time invested over the short term, particularly when it is more advantageous and effective to distract the surface consciousness than to have it engage in a meditative state where it might interfere with the transfer. The subjective experience is of being spacey, unfocused, possibly having a headache (depending on the intensity of the information and energy and your ability to absorb it) and needing to be distracted. The differentiating factor between this state and merely having those subjective symptoms, at least for me, is that when I do momentarily focus on what I am receiving, tears often come to my eyes, as if I have just experienced something of great intensity, and yet I have no outer or inner form to ascribe to it. I cannot focus on it for more than moment and trying to do so would be actively detrimental to me and the signal.

I am not unique in having this variety of experience. Many others describe receiving downloads, though the subjective experience and symptoms are different for each person and change over time. The most common mode of download I have read about in others is through their dreams or while they are sleeping. I do not experience this, I suspect because that avenue is blocked for me at the moment, another result being my sense of extreme unreality and entrapment in my dreams. One factor that is more limited to me is that the open and unfocused state will often further the physical adjustments that I am experiencing, though there are actually several different states of consciousness in which different kinds of physical work take place.

Awake in the Dream

February 17, 2010

I woke up in a dream again. I was standing in my bedroom where my body was sleeping. It had been going on for sometime. People I know and don’t know would come and say and do emotionally hurtful things to me, but I realized that I was dreaming and they were just images. Knowing this I tried to take the images apart and make them disappear. Aside from very simulated looking alien guts, what remained were small fuzzy clouds of darkness that didn’t look like they belonged in the reality of the dream. I could just see two of them on the upper edge of my vision, but not in direct sight. I knew they were small entities that were trying to goad and hurt me and that if I made a sound that the music had taught me they would be driven away. I opened my mouth wide, as I would in waking life, and tried to make the sound. Nothing would come out. I tried again. Nothing. I tried a third time. Nothing.

I tried to wake myself up at this point. I was very lucid and aware of my actions and was surprised I had not already woken up. I slapped myself in the face. Repeatedly. I could feel the sting on my lips, but I didn’t return the physical world. I was trying desperately to get out and the dream was starting to run and deform in the process. I felt like my consensual reality was dissolving, which isn’t very strange because my dreams are almost always extremely protean, as if the physical reality I am presented with is a conceit that is barely being held in place, but this was somehow different, as if my mind was running and warping with my surroundings. Over the last several years when I go lucid in a dream it is very different than the usual playful experience that most people report. When I go lucid I realize that I am in a dream and reactively try to return to my energetic perception of reality. At that point the dream world usually dissolves into a two dimensional swirl of color at the bottom or side of my vision, almost like a screen I was being forced to stare at. When I try to leave the dream there has always been a force violently trying to push me back into it, to make me look at the screen. In the dream that I am describing to you now I couldn’t get out at all. I was trapped. This is why I think I started to feel that I was going mad. I needed to leave that reality, but I couldn’t.

Somehow I realized that if I found a real human being and asked them to wake me up it might happen. I ran out of my room and down the stairs of my dream house. I felt like I might lose my mind at any moment. I found someone I knew in real life sitting in my kitchen. It was the real representation of that person, not just an image. I started screaming at him to wake up over and over again. Reality skipped and I saw some one I’ve never met, then I woke up.

My heart wasn’t pounding and I didn’t feel like I had just been through an emotional ordeal. Aside from my memory and the intellectual knowledge of what I had just been through, it felt like I might just forget the dream as most are forgotten after waking. I immediately found the person I had asked to wake me up in the dream and told him what happened, both to help me remember and to help restore some harmony between my intellectual and my emotional/physical perception of reality. Edit: Later, after I wrote this post, I started to behave like someone coming out of a high stress situation, e.i., lack of coordination, nervousness, but still little to no emotional affect.

In hindsight, I am disturbed, but also pleased with my reactions after going lucid. I am disturbed because I remember being as lucid as I am now, but unable to wake myself, something that hasn’t happened in a long time, and because I couldn’t even begin to escape the dream reality. It warped and bent, but I couldn’t get out. I am pleased because I recognized the entities in my dream and attempted to do something that would probably have driven them off and remove me from the dream environment. That I wasn’t able to use the sounds that the music has given me in the dream is another reason I’m disturbed.

I have the impression that something is not happy that I chose to write this down. I could feel something poking at the back of my head and blanking my memories the moment I decided to do this and started writing. I wish I could write down everything that happened, all the ways that I tried to wake myself even before going fully lucid and… There is something. One of the entity images entered by stepping through the outer wall of my room. It was like I could see a hall that immediately closed behind it. There was something about the walls in hindsight, like they shimmered. I feel like something put me in a petree dish and dumped little entities in with me to watch what would happen.

Just-in-time Zombies

November 21, 2009

The End of War Crimes is an amazing, mind expanding, read over at SF author Peter Watts’ blog “No Moods, Ads or Cutesy Fucking Icons (Re-reloaded)”. The article primarily deals with the potential consequences of new technology that reads pre-conscious brain signals as a means of reducing reaction time, e.g., your gun decides when to fire based on your reaction long before your conscious mind could even have made the decision. The applications are obvious in a military context, but possibly the biggest incentive is harder to spot.

“All of this stuff is disturbing enough as it is. But White takes the next obvious step down that road. Just as Big Pharma cranks up its prices two days before the new regs kick in, just as the logging industry finds out which forests are slated for protection and then clear-cuts them before that legislation passes, the military now has an incentive: not to limit the technology, not to improve its ability to discriminate foe from friend, but to deploy these weapons as widely as possible:
‘…international humanitarian law would create perverse incentives that would encourage the development of an entire classes of weapons that the state could use to evade criminal penalties for even the most serious types of war crimes.’
So whatever you do, son, stay jacked in, keep online, because zombies— zombies can never be found guilty.” – Peter Watts