Archive for April, 2011

The World Peace Game

April 26, 2011

One of the best TED talks I’ve ever listened to.

It’s not on youtube yet, so no embedding. You have to follow the link:

April 20, 2011

This is a clip from “The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao.” I suggest seeing the whole film if you have not.


April 19, 2011

If it were left to my personality I would turn my work, this spirit, into a technology. A tool for changing human lives. I would create working groups and design and record tranformative processes. The trials of an open secret society with the well being of all life at heart.

I am implicitly forbidden from doing this. It would go sour, despite and because of my intentions and true feelings.

I do not know the truth of what time will bring. All I can and must say is that when I close my eyes I see myself wandering an empty world returned to growing things, made more wild and lonely for the lingering and broken remains of the world that came before. Perhaps that’s only a vision that lives within me.

Open Source Civilization

April 18, 2011

It’s still not right, but it’s closer.

Disposable Beings

April 16, 2011

We treat as disposable, other beings, evident in their capacity for feeling, thought and the other qualities by which we judge and love another. I think this is wrong. It is wrong when we do it. It is wrong when it is done to us by beings of a more vast and subtle nature. We are not property, though we choose to act as if we were.

I will be free.

Buried in Teeth

April 15, 2011

Never posted music for my blog’s birthday (March 24 and now two years old), so here it is.

Life Style

April 14, 2011

I have a negative reaction toward people who treat spirituality as a lifestyle choice. I loath the culture that surrounds almost all spiritualities, but I don’t loath spirituality. I love people, but I hate what they do.

What I’ve done with my life wasn’t a choice that my personality made. It’s just been tearing me apart since I was a small child and then reached down out of the sky one day when I was 18 and made it impossible for me to live a safe or reasonable life. This is a disease. This is a sickness. It burns everything away. My dreams and plans for my life. My delusions and petty qualms. My pride and my fear.

I ask myself “why can’t it be different?” and sometimes I know the answer, that in my heart I sit in a cave listening to the Music and that my life is a reflection of that.

Edit: A not that I did not want to make in the body of this post, but that should eb made is that my personal reactions to spirtuality as a life style choice have nothing to do with truth. They are a reflection of my own psyche and are often contravened by my own spiritual experiences that get me involved with things I would have otherwise avoided.

Strange Reflections

April 13, 2011

I still have the capacity to be genuinely surpised when I find some metaphysical truth reflected in a place you never would have looked for it:

My mother and I have done that job numberless times. It’s my opinion that everyone who chooses the path that I am on does it at least once.

See my post “The Healing of Shame.”

I Speak….

April 12, 2011

…And I feel the meaning, but I don’t know it.

Bad audio and out of synch on the first video.

Better audio and in synch.

I have been wanting to make video of myself speaking in this way for a long time, but it’s not an easy thing to do. I do not control it, only allow it to happen. My impression is that I am not channeling, or speakign for another being. The Music says that number of different languages, for lack of a better term, have been given to me. I am aware that there are at least four different ways of speaking that come to me. I am reluctant to project or put labels on everything, but my guides can be rather stern with me if I don’t make things explicit when they need to be explicit. In this case I explicitly need to say that I feel that these four ways of speaking correspond to different kind of beings are part of my make-up in one way another.

The first kind of speach to clearly and coherently manifest was the speech the Music has me use. It is a set of whistling tones from the back of my throat. I had to go through a long period of development to be able to make these sounds. They are not very dramatic or aesthetic, but they are important in my energy work. They are the ones I have the most conscious access to, but they don’t like being recorded.

The second feels like a reptilian language and the third feels insectile. They came mixed together and I was less aware of their development. The reptilian is hisses and guteral sounds. It very emotional in a way. It often comes out if I am frustrated when my mother and I are working with a difficult being. The insectile language is more like a series of clicks with some breathy whistles. It’s less emotional but very exact.

The fourth is what I spoke when I talked to the goblin like being I mentioned in a previous post. This the primary element in the videos in this post, though there are also reptilian and insectile elements.

My impression is that these kinds of speech or languages are not like our own, where one sound or word has a definite and repeatable meaning. I can make the same sound with different emotion and context and it means something completely different, almost as if the sound is just a carrier for what is behind it. Yet how things are said does matter. I am often aware that I have said things in a broken way. A way that doesn’t do what needs to be done.

Inner Work

April 11, 2011

The process that he is describing has, in a very tangible sense, been the opus of my life.