A Momentary Light

I have a strange memory from last night. Some impulse awoke me, though I cannot hold onto what it was. My head rose up and I saw that I was still lying in my bed where I had gone to sleep. However, the dim shadow of my room was interrupted. It was as if there was a cone of cold white light emanating from just behind my head and slightly to the left. It was oddly reminiscent of the light from the small LED headlamp I often carry with me. This light illuminated the far corner of my room from me. The corner of my work table, my old brass lamp and purple radio I never use anymore and the grey cabinet they both rest on. I whirled my head around to find the source of the light. As I turn my head the quality of the light changes, becoming flatter, almost like an after image in the eye. By the time I have turned my head around to the left I see nothing but the dark wall of my room. Looking back to the far corner I see nothing but the week light that seeps in around my blinds and the outlines of my familiar belongings. The whole affair could not have taken more than two seconds.

My emotional reaction was relatively subdued throughout this experience. I was shocked when I saw the light and reacted immediately to find the source, but even then I felt that I could either watch it slowly fade or try to look, knowing it would disappear before I could find its source. I didn’t feel afraid at any point, possibly because the feeling that it didn’t want to intrude upon my consciousness was so strong. No mark was left upon my body, mind or emotions that would prevent me from thinking this event was a dream if my ego was threatened by it or could not support the event within its reality framework. However, it wasn’t threatening at all and I am quite sure I was not dreaming or experiencing an optical illusion. After the event I went right back to sleep and felt quite ordinary right to the present moment, and I still do.

I don’t feel the need to put any labels on this experience, but in writing about it and focusing on it I have revealed a definite sense within myself that it didn’t want to disturb me and didn’t wish me any harm.

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