Archive for May, 2010

It Isn’t Scary

May 28, 2010

It isn’t scary, to be out of your head if you’ve poured out the darkness that lives in your heart and the pain that lives in your body. When your heart is awake you don’t need to guard it. When your body is awake you don’t need to mind it.

You’re more than your head and you’re only afraid because you’ve forgot. “What will happen when the surface has gone away?” The inside will come out to play.

What seeds have you sewn in your secret garden? Have you sewn love in your hands? Have you sewn a lucid light in your heart?

You are not the eye. You is more than what you see. The eye is just one point of change, where a decision can be made.

On the Way to Shamayin

May 26, 2010

The author of Open your Eyes and Love Them: A Gospel of Sorts is moving to a new blog. Her explanation is here: Closing One; Opening Another.

Her new Blog is called Shamayin. The first two posts are an excellent introduction to her and the state of being that three years of direct contact with non-physical reality has created within her. Find them here: Starting Fresh and On “Death,” and Good News.

Where I’m Trying to Be

May 25, 2010

It’s not good or right, or wrong, for that matter. It’s just where I need to be right now, particularly when I work and when I am being worked on.

Semi-explanation: Stepping Out of the Way

Burning Karma

May 19, 2010

“Altered States and Shamanic Initiation”

May 15, 2010

Stace Tussel has a new post up at Inter-intelligence Communications. She’s finally done a real post about several experiences she’s been teasing me with since we started communicating over a year ago.

“Another extraordinary ASC echoing shamanic initiation occurred during another “vivid dream” when I was a small girl, perhaps 7 or 8 years old. While “asleep” or at least visiting another dimension, I had an extremely vivid vision of being inside a huge, transparent, crystalline structure – a cathedral of sorts — realising that someone I loved deeply had died. For awhile I was totally inconsolable, but gradually my altered state began to fade away with a rush of waking tears, leaving me with indelible images: The towering quartz crystals! The overwhelming sorrow! Waking, weeping, in my mother’s arms…!” – Stace Tussel, Altered States and Shamanic Initiation

(Dis)Ingenuous Patterns

May 7, 2010

On a fairly regular basis I am taken to the psychological and physical limits of my endurance. This is part of a repeating pattern that exists largely outside any story about myself that I have been given. The pattern is cyclical, composed of distinct phases and occurs roughly several times a month. For the purposes of this description I will call these phases Base-line N, Decent, Negative Peak, Ascent, Positive Peak and Base-line N+1.

Base-line N (N = the unknown number of previous cycles) represents my unperturbed psychophysical energetic state at the beginning of the cycle. Decent is initiated by a disproportionately negative psychophysical energetic reaction to some superficial stimulus. Sometimes the stimulus is explicit, sometimes it is difficult to identify if there even was a stimulus. This has lead me to suspect that the stimulus is, if anything, a convenience for initiating the cycle, or a cover for the real causation. Examples of explicit stimuli include: intractable moral questions, confrontation with fundamentalist beliefs, social awkwardness, embarrassment, bad dreams, etc. etc. Decent is usually the longest phase, taking at least several hours and sometimes as much as several days. During this time I will be repeatedly confronted on every level by the negative reaction that the stimulus supposedly created. If there did not appear to be a stimulus, this process is much the same except that it lacks an external manifestation to justify the internal reaction. The internal reality of the event is nearly identical
however. The end result of this continuous onslaught is a gradual degradation of my wellbeing, psychological defenses and physical reserves of energy. An identifying quality of these cycles is that attempts to interrupt the cycle at this point will uniformly fail. No rational argument, emotional insight, physical action will end the decent process. Energy medicine techniques have been able to temporarily interrupt the process with a great expenditure of time and effort, but even these techniques only seem to be addressing the superficial means that create the cycle. As one means of creating it is removed another is moved into position. I will often become intensely aware of a non-physical presence that I feel is causing me to experience these negative feelings. Torturing me. Ultimately the decent phase will continue until I have been to my psychological and/or physical limits. My defenses have been stripped and I have nothing more with which to resist the process. Needless to say, this is extremely painful. This is Negative Peak.

Negative Peak is brief, usually lasting no more than an hour. This phase represents the state in which I no longer have any defense against what is happening. I have been taken to some psychological limit and pushed slightly past it. I am just suffering. Intense suffering. Usually the final thought of negative peak is a genuine emotional realization that “I don’t want to be alive with this anymore.” This is usually when it, whatever it is, lets go. This is Ascent.

Ascent is characterized by a feeling of RELEASE. The psychological and physical pain begin to slowly diminish, but it is immediately clear that whatever force was holding me has withdrawn completely. Ascent is even shorter than Negative Peak, usually only lasting a half hour. The pain will continue to diminish and a sense of well being with begin to return. At the same time a subtle feeling will begin to manifest. This feeling will convey the necessity of the process I just went through and that a great weight has been lifted from me because of it. These feeling will continue to strengthen until I reach Positive Peak.

Positive Peak is the shortest phase, usually only lasting five to ten minutes. It is the phase in which the reason for the cycle is “revealed.” I am shown how I held a negative pattern or energy so deeply within me that I would never consciously choose to go that deep in order to remove it, and that if I was aware of the process that was removing it I would inhibit the process. I am also shown the new plateau of clarity I have reached because of the process. This is usually a euphoric and transcendent experience, especially considering the pain that I have just been through. After the euphoria fades I enter Base-line N+1, my new baseline psychophysical energetic state after the cycle has been completed, though it will take some time for me to fully adjust to it.

I do not know what the truth of this experience is. The feelings I have described really occur, but I do not know if they represent a greater reality. I am doubtful of any system that requires such suffer to traverse it, but I can say that my abilities do seem to grow naturally over time and particularly after events like these cycles. I have asked my guides many times about this cycle, but I do not receive an satisfactory answers. To be very clear, I have generalized greatly. There are many experiences very much like this one that differ in small, but significant ways. The identifying qualities of this experience are the phases, the feeling of a distinct entity or being causing the cycle, and the trickster aspect of hiding the causation under a superficial stimulus.

Physical Work Status

May 6, 2010

I woke up a little before 2:30am today. After attending to my bladder and brushing my teeth I almost immediately feel something begin to work on my neck. I can feel small internal pressures and tensions building up, holding and being released as the micro-adjustments are made. I need to strongly resist the urge to stretch, “crack,” or twist my neck in an attempt to help the adjustments move more quickly. My tendons and muscles are still raw from previous work. If I allow these impulses to consciously expedite the process any more at this time I will slowly damage myself.

These adjustments will probably continue for several hours, possibly as long as I am awake. They will shift between my neck, spine, skull (rear, sides and within my forehead), ear (predominantly right), jaw (extending through my neck/skull and down into my right shoulder (occasionally left), lungs, heart and chest cavity. Occasionally a series of adjustments will culminate in a pulsing sensation which extends briefly over the surface of my body, predominantly felt in the head, neck, shoulders chest and limbs (including the legs).

Loose focus is required for adjustments to be optimized. Too tight a focus, such as during intense social interaction, will block the shifts, causing tension to build up to uncomfortable levels. Too loose a focus and I will not respond with the micro-movements necessary to complete a shift.

The work continues, very slowly.

Amazing Stone Artifacts

May 2, 2010

I have mixed feelings about Project Camelot as a whole, but they have presented some fascinating material.

This narrated slide show of anomalous stone artifacts from around the world is amazing and challenges the status quo, to say the least. The physical reality of the artifacts is one of the most refreshingly compelling aspects of the video.

Klaus Dona: The Hidden History of the Human Race

Ask the Mountain if You are Alone

May 1, 2010

The article Spirits Among Us from Reality Sandwich is a much more straight forward vision of what I was trying to convey in my post Not Alone.

The article follows the thoughts and experiences of a woman who is being guided in a tradition of contact between humans and the spirits of this Earth, or as I would call them, beings of the local energetic.

“If you want to know that a mountain is alive, just ask it” – Stella Osorojos

It might answer if you know how to ask it with respect.

If there was one gift I could give to human beings it would be the experience of knowing the other vital, intelligent beings that inhabit this world. I cannot think of any other knowing which would begin to change us so much. I am eternally sorrowful that we would also misuse this knowing because it has been hidden from our sight for so long. We would fear them and try to trap them in a bottles like jinn, or worse, actively try to kill them.

“Burning The Darkness”

May 1, 2010

Go to Luminosity. Read Burning The Darkness.