What Holds Me Back

What holds me back from going completely into my felt presence of reality? There is a simple answer. I do not yet know how to feed the people.

What keeps me from my own experience is the fear of death. Not my own, for though my body clings to life my mind and soul would make no nest of pain from my passing. I fear the death of others who have not remembered yet, who would tear at the world and themselves in leaving it.

Healing, I have seen. Communication across time and space, I have seen. Many things I have seen, but food is what holds me captive. When oil is gone industrial agriculture will collapse. From oil we make both the fertilizers and pesticides that we need in massive amounts to maintain high-yield industrial monoculture crops. Even if we had energy to drive the machinery it would not replace these material inputs. Billions will starve, die in pain and anguish trying to find any way to survive, no matter how grotesque. I cannot accept this and I cannot leave the world as-it-is-presented until I see for myself a way beyond it.

I spoke to my mother about this. A voice came to her and said that if the people were opened and could receive a signal then they could be fed. I need to see. I need to see it done.


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2 Responses to “What Holds Me Back”

  1. Arsen Darnay Says:

    I share your view of the oil question. Few are genuinely aware of what looms ahead. The slower the transition, thus the more we conserve now, the more likely we shall be to adapt and thus “feed the people.” That’s the rational route visible to all of us. Do you think that people can be “opened” from outside, as it were? I doubt that myself, hence I expect that we shall see a great wave of destruction, and the slower it arrives, the better.

  2. wildrote Says:

    I am certain that others can be opened from outside, though I am not certain they will be. It takes so much energy and attention to open just one set of eyes that do not want to see anything but the familiar forms of life. Whether this process of opening more resembles taking an enemy bunker or making a rose bloom is even more difficult to say.

    I’ve played spirit guide and guardian angel too many times.

    Logically you are quite right, Arsen, as far as I am concerned.

    Logic aside, I don’t know what is coming and I don’t know how to fix it.

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