The Stars

One evening several weeks ago I was feeling quite awful. It isn’t uncommon for me to be extremely physically and psychologically uncomfortable because some force is “pushing” on me, as I call it, and I was experiencing a particularly potent example of this phenomena on that evening. Eventually my discomfort and the distress of my emotions and thought patterns became great enough that I decided that I needed help. I had already worked with my mother that evening and I didn’t feel that I had the energy or ability to continue. A family of friends have been staying with me recently and I decided that I would speak with the mother of the family. She has the ability to work with energy and with some guidance in how to use that ability had been able to help me in the past. Though I find it difficult, often impossible, to be with other humans much of the time, there can be a great comfort for me in just being with other people. Not in their words or empathy so much as that for me each person is a fire in the night and a window through which the light of other worlds my enter our own. To be with them in silence is to push back the darkness where I must work so much of the time. The mother of this family is one of my favorite people to just be around for the quality of her energy, once I learned to see it. So I went to her and told her what I was experiencing. We spoke for quite a time and though we didn’t do any overt energy work that evening she did try to cheer me up as best she could.

There is a moment near the beginning of any well intentioned cliche pep-talk. In that moment you can decide to dismiss it as empty words, or you can try to let it help you feel better. I usually try to let it help me, mostly because feeling good is at a premium and I can walk down the path of unforgiving ultimate truth anytime I like. Another message came in with my allowance of her words. I started to laugh a little bit and as usual I tried to explain some cosmic truth that I hadn’t understood until that very moment. I saw the stars in my mind and I knew they were a metaphor for the Music and all the beings, forces and spirits that help and guide me, that have shown me what the world really looks like and what it could be. Even though those stars are so very far away, I have them in this life. With this vision also came the knowledge that there are worlds where the stars cannot shine, where there is no help, or guidance or solace for one such as me. In those worlds all you have is that lighted sliver of truth that we all carry from every life. Nothing more. No magic, no healing, no visions, nothing but a world that says you are wrong, set against the power that you carry in your heart. I know that I have been to those worlds and that I might yet return, because there is even more work to be done there than here. For this very short moment, I was immensely and truly thankful for my life and everything in it.

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