Archive for April, 2010

“Alters” and Aliens

April 29, 2010

Lucretia Heart has a new post on Towards a New World about another of her abduction experiences. The entire account is very interesting, but she briefly addresses a point that I’ve written about recently, the induction of alternate personalities. An excerpt from the relevant section follows:

It’s impossible to learn anything if you forget it right after wards– so how could the aliens teach us anything and yet not allow our conscious “normal life” selves to know about it? Maybe by somehow artificially inducing a second identity. I’m really uncomfortable thinking this could be true, because the idea of being so completely compromised is just appalling to me. Yet, the more I remember and compare my own experiences with others, the more I’ve found that this seems to be the case for many abductees. – Lucretia Heart

I agree that there are many other accounts that describe the exact same phenomena of being taught something that feels of great significance at the time and then not being able to remember for at least several years in most cases. This is coupled with the strange behavior that almost always accompanies abductions and contact with aliens and most other beings from different states of existence. Some of this can be ascribed to the altered state of consciousness that they naturally induce by their presence, but in many cases it seems like completely different personalities manifest themselves in the presence of these beings. My working hypothesis is that some of both are involved and that there is probably some cross over as well, that is, in some cases the loss of memory and odd behavior are caused by an altered state of the same personality, in other cases the beings involved have created an alternate personality that they can induce for their own purposes, and, in still other cases, the altered state that these beings induce may naturally evoke an alternate personality to a greater or lesser extent.

I do not think the methods of creating or evoking these alternate personalities are the same as I described in my previous post “Alters” and Fractured Personalities. I suspect that these beings have much more subtle means of creating what they need.


April 27, 2010

Shame is the most destructive emotion I have encountered within and between lives. It does nothing to heal what damage is done and it completely inhibits any capacity to open to and nurture that which is the best within ourselves and the universe.

The heart of shame is the desire for our own non-existence.

“Iboga Insurrection” Parts 1 and 2

April 27, 2010

There has been a surprisingly large amount of excellent content at Reality Sandwich recently.

I’m a little late on this, but one of the most interesting articles was the two part series on the underground movement that is developing around iboga, a plant entheogen from West Africa that seemingly has the potential to help a person transcend addiction. The irony of something classified as an illegal drug actually curing addiction is not lost on me, or on the author.

Iboga Insurrection Part 1:

Iboga Insurrection Part 2:

The author, Charles Shaw, is someone to watch. He’s also serialized his new book Exile Nation, which I am reading as it appears.

What Holds Me Back

April 26, 2010

What holds me back from going completely into my felt presence of reality? There is a simple answer. I do not yet know how to feed the people.

What keeps me from my own experience is the fear of death. Not my own, for though my body clings to life my mind and soul would make no nest of pain from my passing. I fear the death of others who have not remembered yet, who would tear at the world and themselves in leaving it.

Healing, I have seen. Communication across time and space, I have seen. Many things I have seen, but food is what holds me captive. When oil is gone industrial agriculture will collapse. From oil we make both the fertilizers and pesticides that we need in massive amounts to maintain high-yield industrial monoculture crops. Even if we had energy to drive the machinery it would not replace these material inputs. Billions will starve, die in pain and anguish trying to find any way to survive, no matter how grotesque. I cannot accept this and I cannot leave the world as-it-is-presented until I see for myself a way beyond it.

I spoke to my mother about this. A voice came to her and said that if the people were opened and could receive a signal then they could be fed. I need to see. I need to see it done.

Where are You?

April 26, 2010

“Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself alone, and so they don’t find themselves at all.”

Rollo May, Man’s Search for Himself, via Throwing Down Flowers

Then Anger Left Me When I Was Done

April 24, 2010

I am angry today. I tried to watch Michael Specter’s “The Danger of Science Denial” at This post comes in two sections. I wrote the first section after I cooled down enough to analyse the video in its entirety and reflects what I consider to be several reasonable issues with Specter’s presentation. The second I spent most of the day writing as I watched the video. I do not think it reflects a reasonable analysis of his presentation in that it is more of an ideological tirade against a way of looking at the world that I find pernicious and annoying.

Section 1:
The central problem is he pulls the switcheroo several times. He leads in with a supposed case of people doing something relatively harmless that he alleges goes against scientific evidence, then relates that relatively harmless behavior to an horrific extreme example that no compassionate human being could condone. If you have a problem with GMOs you are directly responsibly for denying African villagers a cassava plant that has vitamins and proteins that would stop them from going blind. This seems like a fake chain of causation considering that most of the anger over GMOs is targeted against one or two kind of evil companies (Monsanto and Novartis), and that neither of those companies is likely to be involved in such a project, but that doesn’t stop him from drawing that conclusion. It’s a somewhat confusing talk because he seems to recognize and acknowledge the flaws in his own arguments, then repeatedly tramples over them to make his point anyway. He recognizes some of the valid reasons why a person should distrust authority based on recent experiences, but in saying that public concerns are law and policy issues relating to corporations and governments and not science, he is ignoring the symbiotic and often consciously complicit relationship between scientific institutions, corporations and governments. The capper is his inflammatory language. He invokes shame and value judgments in a way that makes argument with his more dubious points seem morally wrong, not on their own merits, but by the associations he draws.

Ironically Favorite Line: “You don’t get to have your own facts.”

Section 2:
All I can hear when I listen is the mythology of progress, a creation myth of our society with science and industry as its culture heroes, a myth that is ignorant of the real forces which have shaped our societies and dismisses the rampant destruction of our life support systems on planet Earth. There is no recognition that this myth of progress is a large component of what has pushed us to our present extremity and that when our environmental factors of favorable climate and cheap, abundant energy come to and end so will our progress ( Likewise, a passing nod is made to the damage caused by our society’s sociopathic use of scientific knowledge and power, but there is seemingly no awareness that further developments of this power will be misused by the same forces that caused us to misuse it in the first place.

He aims to lampoon the fear of vaccines, GMO bans and herbal medicines as distortions and denials of science, while he lampoons his own absurdity. What are these petty trifles at the feat of our strange gods of war, industry, famine and disease, Haliburton, Exxon Mobile, Monsanto, Glaxosmithkline. Have we not reason to be afraid of vaccines when it seems the World Health Organization is in the pocket of the pharmaceutical companies ( Have we not reason to be afraid when we have no ability to control genetic contamination of crops ( and when agribusinesses can lie and distort the truth about their crops with impunity, to devastating affect ( , Have we not reason to be afraid when pharmaceutical companies can pick and choose what studies they release about their products and maintain unwholesome relationships with the doctors who prescribe their drugs(

This is not so much a plea of innocence for his targets as an indictment of his myopia.

In the face of these affronts how is paranoia an irrational response.

I love this picture. To me it represents the promise of science, to understand the universe from the smallest to the largest and back to the smallest, to see its beauty and complexity while saying something profound and powerful in the face of it all. Science, or more accurately, the institution that we have constructed around that word, the universities, the foundations, the labs, the R&D departments, the very system of acknowledgement and recognition upon which they stand, does not fulfill this promise today, not in more than the smallest measure. This is because (forgive me, please forgive me) our institution of science is prostituted to the least among us, those who have given their lives in the pursuit of power and wealth. The CEO, the general, the career political appointee and those who have found power through religious institutions or special interest groups.

The development of the corporation, its structure and function, has been far more the creative force behind the evolving form of our society than science ever has. Science has merely been the tool, wielded by masters unconcerned by the scope and wonder of the cosmos, but by the mastery and control of that which they could own and profit from. This is what determines the course of scientific endeavor, not high minded ideals, but where funding is allocated. If the scientists should arrive at the “wrong” answer then the funding will move else where.

The institution of science, despite all that it could be, all that it might be, is today a weapon of control and oppression, used by those with power against those without. No different than any church that twists its teachings, the internal meanings of its sacred words, for the sake of power and political expediency. What of the power that science has give you, your car, your laptop, camera phone and the internet in all its glory? what of them? They are toys compared to the powers we have invested into a handful of human beings around the world. We have gone from free bacteria, inefficiently processing anaerobic nutrients to eukaryotic cells in the organism, furiously processing from the oxygenated blood stream of the world fossil-fuel-subsidized transport system and communicating over its fiber optic neurons. We have power within the system, but there is a master of whom we are only dimly aware. A master who moves the whole.

The very system of monetization that these corporations have engendered in their role as centralized banks necessitates the form and course of our society, its endless exponential growth and transformation of the natural world into products and services (

None of what I have written denies the power of the scientific method If you seek to understand or control the physical world, but science is not free.

“Science is so powerful that it drags us kicking and screaming towards the truth despite our best efforts to avoid it. And it does that at least partly fueled by our pettiness and our rivalries. Science is alchemy: it turns shit into gold.” – Peter Watts

Watt’s quote exemplifies an ideal that even under the most adverse conditions the scientific method will, through its hard attrition of peer review and defense of academic territory, somehow manage to edge toward the truth. I think in someways he is right, but he also left academia in part because his work was being distorted, both by those who funded it and by the activist NGOs that misrepresented it to the public. For the record, I doubt he would agree with the point I am trying to make, or enjoy that I am making it.


Newton was one of the first great scientists, he was also one of the last great mystics. He wanted to know God through understanding the calculus. There is a false division between those who think that everything in the universe may be understood and controlled and those who think that the universe is inherently beyond our understanding and control. As William S. Burroughs said “the road to the Western Lands is the most dangerous in the world” and the Western Lands are not a pleasant afterlife, they are a metaphor for achieving awareness of the ultimate immortality of the spirit/consciousness, beyond form, and are thus completely indivisible from an ultimate perception and understanding of reality as it is. They are part of the one and the same that is beyond the power of my words to express or to reach. There is a point on the road beyond which neither your analysis of reality nor your fundamental beliefs will carry you. This is the unknown, the mystery. Eventually our fear and self entrapment will dissolve in the winds of time, but how and when is up to us. Will you fall into it or will you fly.

Forgive me for this act of polemics that I have committed. This attempt to colonize the minds of others. I am, to paraphrase what Alan Watts once said, like a bird whose nature it is to sing. This is the song that comes out.

“Alters” and Fractured Personalities

April 23, 2010

Because of Anya Briggs’ recent posts on Aaron McCollum (starting here) I checked out several interviews that he has done. Most of the material that he talks about is well outside my area of experience, to the point that there’s no real point in my commenting on it. The exception to this is a section in an interview he did for a radio program:

Edit(16/10/2010): There are many others, such as Duncan O’Finiaon, who talk about being intentionally fractured into many alternate personalities. See my recent post “MKULTRA and The Presidential Hearings on Human Radiation Experiments” for another example.

In part 3 of the interview McCollum talks about multiple personalities, or “alters”, being artificially induced through emotional and physical trauma. Speaking from my own family history (thankfully long in the past) I can say that the phenomena he describes is real. When a human being is placed under extreme stress, to the point that their current personality is incapable of existing with its circumstances, a completely new and distinct personality can emerge. This is most commonly associated with cases where children are sexually abused, often by a parent or care taker. The new personality emerges while the abuse is taking place and submerges after the fact. The older personality is often left without conscious memory of what took place while it was submerged. Later in life the new personality may manifest under other circumstances.

The phenomena of “alters” has a much more common, but less obvious, cousin, fractured personalities. Essentially, in many traumatic events, a small component of a person’s being fractures from the whole because it cannot consciously exist with what happened. The fractured personality may shut down and go to sleep for many years. It may remain conscious, but in an altered state, unaware of the life of the primary personality. It may even remain conscious and involved with the life of the primary personality, but as a distinct being, only able to influence the course events indirectly by affecting the primary personality.

My mother and I have done a great deal of work related to reintegrating fractured personalities, or in some rare cases, freeing them from the original personality. Her ability to surrogate for other beings and allow them to communicate through her has made the reality of fractured personalities and so many other aspects of non-physical reality undeniable for me.

Fractured personalities are very similar to lost soul fragments and are created by similar conditions. They are largely the same phenomena, but occur on different levels of reality, the psychological/energy body level versus the soul level. There are slightly different techniques for dealing with each, but a treatment for one will often help with the other.

Another very similar variety of personality fragmentation derives from reincarnation and past life issues. If the personality that develops within an individual life diverges too greatly from the totality of its soul, that personality will not be able join with its soul after the death of its physical body. Any number of things may happen to the personality at that point, ranging from hibernation until it can be reintegrated, to wandering the Earth as a “spirit” or “ghost,” or even being trapped within the body of successive incarnations, but unable to fully manifest except through subtle influences. My mother and I have personally encountered all of these. An author who is even further out of the ordinary than Aaron McCollum, but whose experiences are very reminiscent of our own is Denise Le Fay. Between pages 178 and 183 of her book “A Lightworker’s Mission: The Journey Through Polarity Resolution,” she describes similar process to what we have experienced. You can read that section of her book as pages 18 to 23 of a PDF excerpt here.

Not Alone

April 21, 2010

I am not saying this because I have reasoned and thought my way to these conclusions. I am saying this because I have been shown and brought to them. Take them for what you will.

We are not alone. We have never been alone. Not once.

All I can give you is this picture, because every word I say takes me further from what I need to give you.

A young man sits in the dim light of a small clay room. There is low, flickering light before his crossed legs. Its shadows roam across the smooth walls, allowing them to dissolve into a larger space. A small ring of objects, a shell, a stone, a flute, rest around him, but these to fall away. All that remains is an easy light that has no source. There are others here. They sit around him as he sits around them. A circle with no centre. Their forms are many, but this does not matter. “Brothers and sisters, I am here.”

Stepping Out of the Way

April 20, 2010

One of the harder things I am asked to do is to step out of the way. By this I mean to get my conscious mind and ego out of the way of the Music and the other beings and forces that are trying to help me. I’ve practiced a similar technique for many years as part of my shamanic and healing work, where it is essential to accurately hear non-physical beings and sense the condition of those you are working with. In that state you are clear and open, but keenly aware, directing your openness to your guides and those you are working with. However, there is a more pervasive and complete variety of this state, one which I have often experienced in my life and am experiencing again now with a much greater intensity. This is a completely unfocused state in which large amounts of information and energy can be imparted without the filter of my conscious mind. I only become aware of the content of this information and energy much later when it rises into conscious awareness, manifesting as inner knowing, knew kinds of energy medicine and perception, or occasionally as things I say or do that didn’t previously exist in my awareness before hand.

The hard part of this process is remaining in the unfocused state which allows access beyond conscious awareness, or I should say, remaining in the unfocused state for the long periods of time that are asked of me. Concurrently, entering and leaving this state of consciousness is not like flipping a switch. Remaining unfocused for long periods of time will have cumulative impact on my consciousness, meaning that it will take an amount of time and rest for me to return to the state in which I am best able to deal with physical life. Being unaware of the content that is being transfered also makes it psychologically more difficult to justify the time invested over the short term, particularly when it is more advantageous and effective to distract the surface consciousness than to have it engage in a meditative state where it might interfere with the transfer. The subjective experience is of being spacey, unfocused, possibly having a headache (depending on the intensity of the information and energy and your ability to absorb it) and needing to be distracted. The differentiating factor between this state and merely having those subjective symptoms, at least for me, is that when I do momentarily focus on what I am receiving, tears often come to my eyes, as if I have just experienced something of great intensity, and yet I have no outer or inner form to ascribe to it. I cannot focus on it for more than moment and trying to do so would be actively detrimental to me and the signal.

I am not unique in having this variety of experience. Many others describe receiving downloads, though the subjective experience and symptoms are different for each person and change over time. The most common mode of download I have read about in others is through their dreams or while they are sleeping. I do not experience this, I suspect because that avenue is blocked for me at the moment, another result being my sense of extreme unreality and entrapment in my dreams. One factor that is more limited to me is that the open and unfocused state will often further the physical adjustments that I am experiencing, though there are actually several different states of consciousness in which different kinds of physical work take place.

“Repeating the Past” With Peter Watts

April 14, 2010

I never cease to savour the irony in my enjoyment of Peter Watts and his writing. His novels and short stories are some of the most unforgiving lenses through which I have ever viewed the human condition, as well as some of the best hard science fiction that I have ever read, yet, in the right light (or the wrong light, depending on one’s point of view) they eloquently make certain metaphysical points that elude normal explanation.

An example of this is Watts’ very short story (a single page), Repeating the Past. The metaphysical question is why one might choose to enter the process of reincarnation and karma. The answer, because we never really learn anything that we didn’t live, or that didn’t become part of us. Go have a read. It will only take a minute.

PS Peter Watts was recently convicted in what seems to me to be a miscarriage of justice, if not the law in question. I didn’t post about it at the time because I really couldn’t deal with all the bad stuff I was reading about in the world. If you would like more information about his conviction, the trial and events leading up to it I encourage you to go Watts’ blog or view his new interview at