Frustration

My mother came to visit me in the city today. At one point I reached out to touch her arm. As I did she began to surrogate for some thing small and frightened. We’ve have been trying to heal the history of several of our ancestors on her side of the family, so it didn’t take us long to figure out that we were talking to the wounded child archetype (greatly expanded due to trauma and the subsequent dissociation from that trauma and the vulnerable aspects of personality that allowed it) of her grandmother’s husband. The wounded child had been passed down to her mother, then to her and finally to her children, including me. It exists in all of us simultaneously in a sense.

The wounded child was very frightened, almost crying, and didn’t really want to be talking to us or answer our questions. We usually need to be very patient because questioning and treatment can take a very long time if the being, entity or aspect we are talking to has been traumatized, doesn’t want to answer our questions or has been forbidden from or intimidated into not answering. In this case it was primarily trauma and the fear of being hurt again that were prolonging the process. We could tell that it would take a long time to treat this fully. Unfortunately we both had physical work that needed to be done that day. Before we released her from surrogating to get on with that work, I explained how frustrating it was that I could see many layers of her energy body trying to maintain the status quo, holding me out and holding this wounded child archetype in. I knew that if these layers would let me, or if I had the clarity/power to move through them, I and all the forces that help and guide us could simply set the situation straight, all forces and energies returned to their creators, healed and allowed to move on. As I said that I thought I could enter and move through those energy layers, my mother’s hands rose in front of her as if holding something back and a voice spoke through her in clipped feminine voice. “No you could not!” It said. “Are you a layer of my mother’s energybody?” We asked. “Yes” It said. After more questioning and interpreting of my mothers hand position, we found that this layer thought of itself as a protector. I saw that kept everything outside that it thought should be outside and everything inside that it thought should be inside. Allowing me to heal the issues we had been dealing with was not on its agenda. It also refused to tell us who gave it this job. Spontaneously we ended up talking to one layer down from the protector. This layer was supposed to erase anything that got through the protector layer.

As fascinating as all of this was, my mother and I had other things we needed to do so we broke off communication. We’ve become rather jaded about the importance of most little discoveries like this. There are thousands of ways to interfere with a person or the work they are doing. This is just one. It may be important in the long run, but it’s just one more thing in a very, very long line. The trick to our work seems to be a combination of recording some complicated manual processes that have worked consistently for us and continually being intuitively sensitive and energetically aware of what is going on at the moment. No one discovery has been as important as the long slow process of continually being sensitive and adaptive to the moment while recording what has worked in the past.

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