Why be Awake?

“Only the most exceptional people become aware of the matrix. Those that learn it exists must posses a rare degree of intuition, sensitivity and a questioning nature. However, very rarely, some gain this wisdoms through wholly different means.” – Narrator, World Record, Animatrix.

Something that I like to emphasize is that in my being I feel that intuition, sensitivity, and a questioning nature should be enough to get a person to the kinds of experiences I’ve had, but I don’t think they are. I think those qualities let me realize that something was very wrong with my world from a young age, but they didn’t get me out. I started to get out when I wouldn’t stop pushing until I was free, both of the limits that have been placed on me and the ones I’ve created for myself. I’m not there yet.

What I’m trying to say with the hackneyed metaphor of the matrix is that I don’t want anyone to think that the nature of existence is obvious. You’re not a dupe or drone if all you see is 3D reality in the Western context when you wake up in the morning. Firstly, It’s just as real as all the other kinds of experience, in an ironic way it’s just more illusory than most in my opinion. Secondly, by the design of the system we live in you’re not supposed to wake up in the middle of the trip. Even most energy workers are here to have an experience of a particular kind of incarnation, not to fully, consciously awaken to their nature. Even fewer are here to actually do something, as opposed to having the experience of doing something. That’s the way this system was designed/grown/happened to work.

All this would be fine except for one thing. To borrow a metaphor from Madeleine L’Engle that would be simplistic if I didn’t think it was so true, this is a shadowed world. We are all co-creators of our world and are thus responsible, but for the last several thousand years negative forces and intelligences have had undo influence in this world. Most commonly they feed on what I call “our lives gone wrong.” It’s actually very hard to capture energy from just death. We are freed in death as we are bound by birth, as both are part of life. We are whole in the process of life, and as the Dao De Jing put it “the tiger’s claw has nothing to grab on to nor the weapons a place to slice,” but when we enter unlife, or wrong life, we are easy prey. There is no morality or immorality to unlife. It is simply the state in which a being’s nature cannot be manifested, or is distorted into a process of disease without the process of healing or evolution to counter it.

Our world is at a crux. All pasts and futures rest on the fulcrum of the eternal now, but in the probability scape of our future the errors bars have gone off the charts and the standard deviation isn’t so standard anymore. At the edge of my vision I see unspeakable wonders and horrors, our world becoming a dream or a nightmare. Near the centre of vision, and far more likely is the mere distinction between futures of sustainable existence or extinction. Your choices now will have consequences that you can’t imagine, and I’m telling you that the playing field isn’t level. There are people and things out there that want you to fuck up, cave in and turn off inside. Don’t. You matter.

Having said all this I’d like to make clear that there is no righteous cause here. Righteousness only helps in that one moment when you need the energy to put yourself on your path and to move aside what limits you. Beyond that it will take you out of your true life as much as anything else will. Don’t cling to it. So will trying to push other people into taking your path. Alan Watts put it much better than I could, so I’ll leave you with some very wise words from his The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are.

“If, then, I am not saying that you ought to awaken from the ego-illusion and help save the world from disaster, why The Book? Why not sit back and let things take their course? Simply that it is part of “things taking their course” that I write. As a human being it is just my nature to enjoy and share philosophy. I do this in the same way that some birds are eagles and some doves, some flowers lilies and some roses. I realize,too, that the less I preach, the more likely I am to be heard.”


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